At the core, our decisions and behaviors are driven by underlying needs and our beliefs about how these needs must be met. The 6 human needs are a powerful psychological framework, created by therapist Cloé Madanes and popularized by Anthony Robbins’ strategic intervention strategies. These core needs are at the root of our motivations and why we prioritize certain decisions and actions, often without our awareness. Each person values one or more of these needs more than the others. Which need is your primary driver is a huge determining factor for how you live your life.
The 6 human needs are:
Certainty/comfort
Uncertainty/variety
Significance
Love and connection
Growth
Contribution
The first four needs are called the needs of the personality. These four needs are things that we always find ways to meet them—they are vital. The last two are called the needs of the spirit and are needs not always met. In most cases, the first four needs must be met before a person is able to start to value and focus on meeting the last 2 needs. However, when we meet those higher-level needs is when we truly feel fulfilled. Explore which of these needs is your top priority. There may be 2 that stand out as more important to you than the others.
Need 1: Certainty/Comfort
At our core we want to feel that we are in control of our reality. This feeling gives us security. This allows us to feel comfortable in our life to feel that we can avoid pain and create pleasure. At the core this is just a survival mechanism that we have. Certainty makes us feel safe, emotionally, psychologically, and physically. Depending on how much we value certainty will depend how much risk we take in life. You probably have met people on both ends of the spectrum—those who want to control every single detail in their life and those that crave uncertainty. The extreme need for certainty, however, will hold you back because all growth and change requires uncertainty.
Need 2: Uncertainty/Variety
The second one is uncertainty. Yes, it’s the opposite of the first one. Think about it—what would happen if you always knew everything that would happen to you? You would probably be bored to death. So, uncertainty brings excitement and spice to life. The level of uncertainty that you are willing and able to live with determines how much and how fast you will change. Keep in mind that being able to deal with uncertainty is also a skill that can be developed, as you become moreconfident that you can deal with change. Also, as you start associating uncertainty and change with something that create happiness and helps you achieve your dreams, your desire for certainty will increase.
Need 3: Significance
Think about it, we all want to feel like we are special. We want to feel like we are important, needed and unique. There are a variety of ways that we can get significance. For example, you can get it by feeling like you are the best at something, by making a lot of money, having the best house in your neighborhood, by buying the latest thing, getting a master’s degree or a doctorate, by becoming a social influencer, by being the best dad, having a bunch of tattoos, you can even be that person that has more problems that anyone else, the most intimidating, or even the most spiritual person. As you can see that there are endless ways to feel significant. People will go to great lengths to feel significant in their life.
Need 4: Love & Connection
The next need is Love and Connection. Whether we realize it or not, love is that thing that we need more than anything. When we love 100% we feel alive and it is a powerful force. For love, many people are willing to do extortionary things for others, whether it’s the love that a parent has for a child or the love of a romantic relationship. However, if we don’t feel like we can get love, we settle for connection—even if these connections do not serve us. There are a lot of ways to get connection, whether it is through a friendship, a pet or even connecting to nature. Less-constructive ways of getting connection are through social media, sacrificing our authenticity to conform to a group, or people pleasing.
Need 5: Growth
The next one is the need for growth. Think about it if you’re not growing in an area of your life, then that area is dying. This can be your relationship, your business, or an aspect of your personal life. If you are not growing than it does not matter what you are creating in your exterior world. That need for certainty can hold you back from growth, leading you to feel empty and not be able to feel true fulfillment. Growth can be scary because it can have uncertainty for some, but it brings fulfillment.
Need 6: Contribution
The last one is contribution and its one that many people reflect on in the later stages of life, as we look at our legacy. Contribution is like a higher level of the need for significance, the difference being that it’s no longer about you. However, contribution is the essence of life. Life is not about me… it’s about us. We are social creatures and we have a natural need to feel that we have a higher purpose and that our life has meaning. The way we find that is to contribution to others. In fact, the feeling that we are contributing to others can helps us overcome the biggest changes if we think ithas a purpose. Life therefore is about creating meaning, and that comes from giving.
So, which need a person values most, and which ones they are starving to meet, will influence the choices that they make in life.
The power of identifying your own hierarchy of needs (which one/s are most important to you) is that you can then reflect to see if you’re meeting your needs in constructive ways. (And, if not, consciously choose more constructive ways of meeting your needs.) In most cases, the lower level needs HAVE to be met in order for a person to turn their attention to the higher level needs.
Constructive ways of meeting these needs:
• Certainty: You can have certainty by having a daily routine or having a community around you that is supportive no matter what’s happening in your life.
• Variety: You can have variety by adding diverse experiences to your life. You can also try new things and learn new skills.
• Significance: You can meet the need of significance by using your talents and skills. You can also master a skill and share your skills with others.
• Love/Connection: You can meet this need by establishing lifelong friendships spending more time with likeminded people, as well as improving your relationship skills.
• Growth: You can meet the need for growth by constantly learning. For example, reading new books, watching YouTube videos, or following others that help you grow. You can also surround yourself with people that motivate you and challenge you to become a better person.
• Contribution: You can meet the need of contribution by sharing your talents andpassions with others. You can also engage in causes that are meaningful to you.
So, ask yourself:
Which needs are the most important to you?
How do you currently meet these needs?
Which area of need are you currently struggling with the most?
In what way do you feel like your need is not being met?
What do you believe is necessary for your need to be met?
How can you meet these needs in a way that will help you truly be fulfilled?
